ifitbeyourwill S06E07 • Carson McHone

What if the truest parts of a record live beneath the surface, shaping what you hear without ever announcing themselves? We sit down with Carson McHone to trace the layers behind Pentimento—from Austin’s all-ages venues to a late-summer desert in West Texas and a snow-dusted session by the Bay of Fundy, tracked to 8-track tape. Along the way, Carson shares the moment she said goodbye to restaurant shifts from the White Horse stage, the journal her mother kept during her first year of life, and how words, melody, and memory braid into songs that feel at once intimate and wide open.

We explore creativity as both posture and practice: the ear training of Suzuki lessons, the freedom of a gifted mandolin, and the patience to catch a song’s thread whether it arrives as a fully formed line or a slow, methodical build. The title Pentimento—borrowed from visual art—becomes a map for the album’s design: the underpainting that persists through time, the overlapping faces of influence, the way a project can hold multiple truths at once. Carson talks about recording to tape, embracing texture over tidy edges, and respecting albums as one living piece rather than a handful of singles. Listeners have responded by pressing play again the moment the last track ends, sensing a narrative that’s felt more than spelled out.

If you’re drawn to songwriting craft, analog recording, Austin music history, or the elemental pull of place—desert heat and ocean tide—you’ll find a lot to love here. We hold space for the practical and the poetic: paying the bills, protecting the creative spark, and building work that would be worth making even if no one heard it. Hit play, share it with a friend who still listens front to back, and leave a review to tell us what layer you heard first.

Chapters

• 0:00 Austin Roots, Early Sparks
• 3:35 Choosing Music Over Odd Jobs
• 6:20 Creativity As Disposition And Practice
• 10:36 A Mother’s Journal And Inheritance
• 14:20 Poetry, Instruments, And Process
• 18:10 Catching A Song’s Thread
• 21:04 Naming Pentimento And Its Meaning
• 24:20 Visual Layers, Film Stills, And Influence
• 27:12 Desert Writing, Ocean Recording, And Nature
• 31:15 Albums As Wholes And Resonance
• 34:00 Process Over Outcome And Balance
• 36:20 Gratitude, Hopes, And Closing

Transcript

Carson McHone: 0:06

Heaven walks among us, ordinarily muffled in such triple or tenfold disguises that the wisest are deceived, and no one suspects the days to be gods.

Chris: 0:30

So rolling with it here along season six, if it be real podcast. What a beautiful, beautiful person I have here for today. I have Carson McCone coming in from her home in Ontario, Southern Ontario. I'll make a preference of that. And me coming in from southern Quebec, right across the border. Now, Carson, you are a native to Austin, Texas.

Carson McHone: 0:53

Is that I am so I'm I'm from south of this nearest border. I'm from south of the border. Yeah, from Texas. I grew up in Austin.

Chris: 1:04

Cool. Great city. Like yeah, yeah, it is. Visited Austin many, many times, and it's just uh the music scene there in particular. I always was fascinated with that. Yeah. You could find music any day of the week. Any day you want to.

Carson McHone: 1:18

Oh yeah. And like so many shows going on every every night.

Chris: 1:24

So yeah, yeah. So cool. So Carson, I'd love to start these off with a couple of memories of the past. Okay. Of moments that you feel brought you closer to what you're doing today with music. Do you have some of those teen memories, early 20 memories of moments that you feel changed the trajectory of where you're where you are now?

Carson McHone: 1:52

Gosh, I could probably point to a number of things. I mean, like you said, I I grew up in Austin, so I was really lucky to be able to go see music at a relatively young age. Not only does Austin have a lot of live music all the time and a, you know, bustling local scene, but it's also a place where people stop on tour. And so there's there's just music all the time. And although my family weren't necessarily like my immediate family directly musical, there was stuff happening all the time that we would go to. And so my folks took me to see a lot of music live as a kid. And and Austin's a relatively, I would say, all ages friendly, or at least it was when I was growing up, town. And my folks were friends with a lot of musicians. And so yeah, I think just sort of the nature of being a young person in a town like that gave me an interesting perspective on making music my full-time gig. I do remember in particular, there was one. I feel like I spoke about this recently, which is why I guess why it comes to mind. But I worked for, you know, a number of years doing, well, many different odd jobs as like a teenager and in my early 20s. And worked at restaurants and and stuff like that. And I finally made the decision to, or I guess it wasn't finally. I was in my early 20s, so I was still, you know, quite young, but it felt like I was finally making sort of a career decision or a path decision. And I announced it on stage. I was playing at the White Horse in Austin, and I had put my two weeks in at my job, and I had I was done. I was done waiting tables, and I yeah, I announced it from stage at I think I had a weekly residency at the time. And so, you know, it was a crew of people that were a little bit more familiar with me. Like I'm sure many friends of mine were there. And so it was like okay, here's this is from here on out, this is what I'm doing, which is kind of it's absolutely what I'm pursuing. But I I think those things obviously with with time and age shift and change how you define those things. I mean, I was not a great server, but I would not be against, you know, waiting tables again. But you probably wouldn't want me to. But uh yeah, yeah, I think I'm I'm pursuing the thing that I've at least for now I'm trying to be the best at that I can be as far as the other things I've pursued in my life. So yeah. That was definitely a a turning point and a and a pretty, I guess, a a profound moment in a way. I guess maybe I'd already made the decision, but it became a reality.

Chris: 5:06

Yeah. Well, you've dabbled in creativity. You feel like your whole life, and creativity is sometimes hard for people to welcome in or understand or accept or understand how it works that creativity comes as you are creative? How was your process in always trying to push your creativity forward? And maybe not only in music. I know that you're you're you're a writer, and you know, creativity seems to be central as to who you are at this point in your life. Was that a gradual growing, or do you make it a part of who you are that that practicing of creativity has to happen continuously every day?

Carson McHone: 5:52

You know, I think so much of that has to do with uh the way I was raised, because I do think it's more of a I mean it's absolutely a practice, but I think it's also just sort of a disposition to a certain extent. And one that that I was sort of encouraged, I was always encouraged by my mother and and still am to this day, to sort of be open to well, just open in general, I think. At least that's the way that I've I feel it in me, is that you know, we are constantly shaping the world around us and and our world and our perspective and and and also being shaped by the outside things, you know. But but I think just that sort of recognition in general is is more of a sort of disposition that I try to like carry as I move through the day or you know, my life or whatever. And sometimes it's difficult to, you know, to to re you know. I don't even know if if it's like a recentering, because I think maybe inherently as humans, maybe as children even, that maybe we are that way and that we sort of lose touch with that, or can we lose touch with that. And and as we get older and we have sort of more structure to our lives, that we can become removed from that that state. And so it's a balancing act. But I will say that sort of in relation to this record too, and and my being up here, I was gifted a a journal that my mother kept when I was an infant. She kept it from in the first year of my life. And every entry is addressed to me. And I had no idea. I knew she always, you know, journaled, but I she gave it to me as a gift when I moved from Texas up here. And so that was kind of a pretty profound thing for me to have sort of this tangible record, you know? Yeah. And I I mean the the very first entry which made its way onto my record, actually, she I have her speak it at the end of the album, opened the journal. It's about creating. And and so I think that I try to nurture that sense of creativity and that sort of inherent what I would like to think is an understanding that maybe that that's always it's always there. It's just a matter of uh you know, aligning yourself with with with that force, sort of. And that is it's just how I was raised. So I don't know that I can take credit for it, but I'm trying to nurture that and and honor that.

Chris: 9:05

It sounds like your mom was uh fundamental in that in your creative development. Y

Carson McHone: 9:24

And and it's she's not, you know, I she's not like a she didn't make a career out of that, but it it is just an inherent part of who she is in conversation, approaching, you know, in her approach to dealing with issues, you know, issues at hand, anything really. And I so I I really respect that and I've I try to take after her in that way. But it's slightly removed, yeah.

Chris: 9:52

Yeah, it's a beautiful painting I'm seeing of which, you know, like that acknowledgement of of such a precious gift that you received just because of who she is.

Carson McHone: 10:04

Oh my god. Uh yeah. I mean, it's just it's very moving, moving to me, and I and I I hope to honor that. I mean, you know, it comes with, as do all things, its own baggage that but that is the thing. It's like, you know, you when you begin to go through that stuff, it's like there are things that are heavier about it, this sort of sensitivity. But but also, yes, what a gift, you know. And so, you know, some some days it feels more like one or the other. But yeah, no, I I'm here to sort of I hope honor it all.

Chris: 10:44

Yeah. Well, I think you're doing a wonderful job at it. Thank you. Sure, she is, you know, the biggest proud that you can be watching her daughter develop into, you know, a a pretty amazing singer, a pretty amazing artist, and a very insightful artist as well. Which brings me to this. My my next question for you is how did you how did you find that music was gonna be that uh outlet for your creativity? Was it was it stumbled into because tell me if I'm wrong, or correct me if I'm wrong, that poetry was something that you have been doing for before music, and that music came in through that avenue that you had already kind of been dabbling in for many years. Is is that an accurate timeline, Carson?

Carson McHone: 11:38

Maybe not. I mean, I I think so. I started my any the first time I ever played music was to take violin lessons as a young kid. And I I took Suzuki violin lessons, and so it started sort of as like a 15-minute during the day exercise of sort of all this stuff taught in Suzuki early on is all sort of ear training and just memory, and I was not very good at violin, never became very good, but but that was established at a very young age that I was like, okay, this is a practice, and and I think you know, I just sort of I mean, music, you know, and and it is it's something that then became how can I utilize this to express myself because I'm feeling a lot. So yeah, I guess it became sort of this tool, but I I mean I also just like love music. But but yeah, so I guess there's maybe an inclination towards the written word and and poetry, but I definitely am not like uh studied in any way, really. I read a lot as a kid, and I try to read. Actually, I on the last tour, I actually I always carry around way too many books, but it's not often that I find or make time to read them while on tour. And I went through two books on this last run, and it was just like, oh God, I love this. But yeah, so I guess I've always had that inclination. And then the fact that music sort of was always in tandem in a way, a part of my life, when I I picked up actually, my uncle gave me a mandolin. And so I was as a young kid, I was not into the the structure and the classical style of the stuff I was learning on violin. But the mandolin, which is strung the same as the fiddle, like I could I could pick out some of the tunes, and then I sort of started taking lessons with actually this woman, Darcy Deville, who's a Canadian living in Texas, and I took lessons from her and was then sort of learned how to play stuff that I was into more so than than the classical Suzuki stuff.

Chris: 14:09

And that gave you your your the structure of process, like going through those, you know, yeah, 20 minutes. Okay, gonna do it.

Chris: 14:20

Like because you you have to develop that as well, right? Like as we were speaking to creativity, it's not something you turn on and off, it's a practice. And I think that process for artists is similar to that, where it's it's something that you need to do, it's an outlet that needs to get satisfied.

Carson McHone: 14:37

Um yeah, and and uh a muscle that needs to be, you know, exercised. Which it can be really frustrating when you're in sort of you know out of out of step with those things and and you really because it feels good to um to utilize those those muscles. But yeah, when you're out of when you're out of shape or out of step, it's it's so frustrating because you can't just turn it on or off. But anyways, yeah, so I think one thing kind of led to the other, and I and I think that the sort of love for the the written word and and poetry and also the more musical side of things kind of played off of each other and were in tandem there growing up. Yeah, yeah. And when you when you are writing a song, what comes to you first? Or does it vary? Like, is it a a lyrical or is it a a tune or a you know, a series of chords, or like when you when you sit down in that process of of doing your craft, I mean I'm I'm sure there's a variety of ways. Can you fill in some of your process for us? Sure. I would say that when I first started writing songs, it was I think just because I was I played a lot less, that it was always more of a lyrical beginning. And these days I think it varies much more, you know, it's and I'm so I'll I'll play around a little bit more on on guitar or there's there have even been a few songs that I've written now that started out on like a keyboard, which is still, you know, kind of foreign to me, funny enough. So so that's that's quite nice. Yeah, it really it really varies. I would say I definitely lean towards like the things that I am ruminating on sort of lyrically and but I I hope to to find myself in the other zone as well. Yeah.

Chris: 16:45

Right. And when do you know that what what's the feeling you have or the acknowledgement you get when you know you're kind of on to a thread of something that that you want to see through rather than, yeah, I've tried this idea, just don't get it yet. And you gotta shelve it for a while. The opposite of that when you know that there are there's elements in here that will blossom into something. Do you have a feeling or a I'm sure. Yeah.

Carson McHone: 17:16

I'm sure that I do. I think it's it's funny though, because I've I do feel like even if I have been taking my time with something had been methodical and thought, oh no, I need to okay, I love how this starts and I need to have the rest of it come together, but be equally as good, and I can't rush it, and I need to take my time. Still, no matter like after the fact, I always sort of feel like I've blacked out and I'm like, how do you do how did I what you know? Which I I think is, you know, not too uncommon, but that like after you finish writing a song, yeah, sometimes you're like, well, I don't know how how exactly that came together. Yeah. Sometimes it's all at once and it hits you. And then other times, like you said, it's more methodical, but even still, I feel like after, and I and I think too, I mean, I haven't I've made a f a few records now, but yeah, I'm it feels like sort of chunks or like project-based for me these days. And I'm I'm in this zone now of having released a record, and I'm like, what will the next thing be like? And then I'm like, what does it what is it like to do that? I've forgotten, I've forgotten, you know. It's it's funny how that happens.

Chris: 18:44

Yeah. And with the latest Pentimento. Great record. Thank you. Came out just recently, guys. So listeners out there, September 12th, are off the press. Where did the name come from? We talked a bit about this before we hopped on here, but I just love this title because I think it represents so well what you did with this with this latest record. Can you can you put some words to the title?

Carson McHone: 19:10

Yeah, I'm I'm trying to think about actually the the timeline of things and and when I did actually stumble upon that word, but I have a sheet of paper that was ripped out of like a sketchbook or something that uh that I was keeping. And I had done this drawing of my friend Layla, who I grew up with and who is now the the mother of my godson, and so a very close friend, and Daniel, my partner, I had like drawn them both on the same page and their faces were sort of overlapping in this strange way. And anyways, I I can't remember what came first there, but I remember being in the van and writing down pentimento on there, which is basically like the underpainting, but not necessarily the painting that informs what's on top of it in a in an obvious and linear way. You know, it can be something that was painted over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, anyways, I had written this word out. And I think what happened is that like I I stumbled upon this page again, right? But I was like, wow, that is exactly all of the this sort of embodies the the stuff that I've been thinking about, and it represents so much, like literally but also metaphorically. And yeah, again, I feel as if it was just sort of oh, it's meant to be. And I don't I couldn't tell you exactly how it came about. But yeah, I mean it's funny because I did run across that page again, and I was like, wow, I wonder how long this has been sort of just sitting there waiting for this to happen. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, very cool. Well, in that photo shoot we did, I was working with a photographer out of out of Austin, and we had the way we got connected was because we sort of rec recognized we had similar some similar tastes and influences as far as like filmmakers. And so we were kind of trying to emulate these stills from these these films that we loved. And that one in particular, Daniel was a part of the shoot as well. He also like helped to light a lot of the shots, but um, we did some together, and yeah, so for sure, that's that layering is always there. I mean, I think to me too, is just uh thinking about you know, a timeline and how you're influenced by things and that whether or not it looks linear, these things are influences, and so that underpainting, you know, whether or not it literally informs the subject matter is not necessarily like the whole the whole picture. And that the there are these multiple things that are true at once. That was another sort of idea that that I wanted to play with. And also I I think being akin to the last record I put out, Still Life, which is also a visual art term, it felt just sort of like a natural progression. And yeah, I think that things pick up for me where they left off there.

Chris: 22:49

So speak the new record too, you had kind of wrote all the songs in one isolated time in the desert. M

Carson McHone: 23:01

And then you went to an analog recording. It was you recorded all this on an eight-track. Like it wasn't you moved away from the digital and kind of went like it just seems like nature is like infused itself into this record in every way that you could possibly do it. Yeah, and you feel that when you listen to it, that it's beautiful, it's a one painting. You know, it's it's a one thing. You can't listen to one track, I find like the singles, they were great when they were coming out, but when the record came out, I was like, I get this. I'm so happy, yeah. I mean, that's how everything that you put in. The I guess your nephew is in there talking at one point, too, just adorable. But yeah, it just feels like how you approach this record was you wanted to get back to something almost.

Chris: 23:49

Is that accurate in saying that?

Carson McHone: 23:52

I likely. I mean, I think uh no, I think that idea absolutely and I think is it makes sense that that would come up because I think similar to what I was talking about with my my mom's journal, sort of this like that a beginning is an ending as well, and there's just sort of this cycle that is continuous. And I did write much of this record in the desert in far west Texas in like the late summer of 2020. So it was sort of sequestered because of COVID. And I was out there, and yeah, it was I love to create out there. It's a beautiful space, expansive space that I feel is conducive to a certain kind of creativity. I I think sort of like a swampy place too, can be, but in a different way. But so the desert was where so much of this record was written, at least lyrically. And then funny enough, this all of these pieces sort of came together, and we made the recording by the ocean on the Bay of Fundee at a friend's house. And so it was funny to sort, and it was in the like late fall, it was the first snow that happened while we recorded. So it was very interesting to have these sort of juxtaposed influences, but all very natural. And I mean, I do feel like there are certain songs that to me are so such desert songs. And then there are songs to me that I feel like I can hear the the tide almost. And I hope, and I think that does come across in in a way, in ways, whether or not what you're hearing is is literally that or not. But yeah, very much influenced elementally influenced.

Chris: 25:55

It's it's funny too when I speak with artists, like it's hard for a non-musician to understand the cycle of an album, right? Like the it's like a a child almost that you start to you know rear, you know, like it grows, it you hopefully influence it in the right ways, and and then it it comes out and it's like the bird flying out of the nest, all right. On with how do you how are you seeing the record now with well, maybe a few weeks between release? Are what you hoped that people would start to hang on to or start to gosh, I I I I think so.

Carson McHone: 26:42

I don't know what people are getting, but what I will say is that I've had a number of people reach out and say that they sat down to listen to the record and they started they listened through and immediately started it over again. So not only are they listening in full, but then doing it again, which to me is just like so beautiful and such an honor that it people would do that. And so I don't know what how like what it how it's manifesting in people or what it necessarily if they're putting a finger on something, or what it's resonating, but it is resonating, I think, deeply with the people that it does. I mean, for me now too, it's like there was the gathering of all of these songs and artifacts and and like voice sketches and stuff. And then the actual recording process, which involved a group of friends and their instrumental voicings, and so then it's this whole other thing that happens, which is the actual recorded thing, and then to to then parse it, you know, like parse it out and make videos for singles, which to me was so like like you said, having it in a whole is sort of how I how it's intended in a way. But then fascinating to sort of parse all that out and and build on these single songs. So yeah, it's just sort of layers upon layers. But I think that people are picking up on some kind of narrative, but I don't think it necessarily has to be, you know, something that is defined. Same with like the desert or the sea or the summer or the winter. It's like you feel you can feel that it is of that, but you don't have to necessarily define what exactly it is. Right. It's just there.

Chris: 28:57

I think it comes back to the start of this conversation about creativity and I think how you've harnessed creativity in in your way and created this beautiful creative artifact that we all get to enjoy for till the end of time, which I I mean to me as an artist doing that, like just having this thing that's out there, it doesn't matter the stuff around it. It's that those songs are there and resonate somehow with other humans.

Carson McHone: 29:29

That's even that it just for me recalls the session itself, which was I mean, that's been another thing about this record too, is the things that I'm sort of considering and thinking about in in the songs and even the process of making the record was just sort of the process itself. And that if nobody ever heard it, it it was worth my while in a way because it's made up of all these experiences. And and I and it's beautiful to me. So, you know, that's that's another thing is I just appreciate the whole thing and and so it's really just that it resonates with anyone, but yeah, because I just appreciate it.

Chris: 30:18

Those words are beautiful, like I mean it might not be hydro, but you know, it's like a way that you can do that and try that for yourself in your journey. I mean those things that you just get it, awesome. But it was more about my process and my journey. And hey, if you get something from it, awesome.

Carson McHone: 30:51

Well and I think that's that's that's the thing is when you if you're able to make something that truly feels that way to you, often I think it is sort of open-ended enough that people, you know like they sense that it's very personal, but it's not so personal that they can't relate to it, you know. And that's really great. And yes, I think it's like these ideas are the things that are profound to me. And if I can carve out a little time and space to to make an artifact of that, which is the record, it's that's beautiful. But yeah, it's this fine balance of like, okay, what do I literally have to do and get done? And am I safe and can I feed myself and can we pay for this? And and then also nurturing that side of yourself that is like I am a child of this world, and what does that mean? And how what am I from and where am I going and all of these things, and it's a balance. And so yeah.

Chris: 31:48

Oh, I love it. I love it. Well, Carson, thank you so much. This has been so amazing. I've loved your thoughtful words and and how you speak about your craft. I think it's they're wonderful words for others to hear to kind of start to understand their own because you've been thinking about this for a while and it helped the show. So I thank you for for sharing those words and thoughts with us all. And I wish you all the best with this record. I think that it's an outstanding record. I hope that you come to Montreal and tour with it or goodbye, you know, maybe hop in Julie's car as she has totally anyway. It's been a real pleasure. I really, really thank you for your time and uh all the best in the future, and uh keep your eyes on uh Carson McHome. She's uh horizon.

Carson McHone: 32:37

Thank you so much. Cheers, we'll see you down the road Oh, it's down from still and stuff, this light stuff from stun, the still, it's tough and stuff to start and stand up, stuff with the steel ball across the place tomorrow and dance on the stop curious find the colour and very eight constant to crystallize walk on me to what it's done to what it's done, and see what a gift for us to stand before this trust mirror. No need to break your gaze to see if all can be clear. It's to you I'm found in love with all that happens. For each other, we have found a place that's but you have to drink so you have