ifitbeyourwill Podcast
“ifitbeyourwill" Podcasts is on a mission to talk to amazing indie artists from around the world! Join us for cozy, conversational episodes where you'll hear from talented and charismatic singer-songwriters, bands from all walks of life talk about their musical process & journey. Let's celebrate being music lovers!
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ifitbeyourwill Podcast
ifitbeyourwill S05E14 • Caroline Strickland
Dive into the creative world of Brooklyn-based indie artist Caroline Strickland as she unpacks the emotional journey behind her latest EP "Martha's Calling." From humble beginnings playing her father's guitar at age 13 to forming her high school band "RIP ROX" (named after her drummer's deceased lizard), Caroline's path to songwriting authenticity reveals the beautiful evolution of an artist finding her voice.
Caroline candidly discusses how her creative process has transformed over time—from the youthful days when songs would "just pour out" to her current, more deliberate approach to crafting music. This evolution mirrors her growth as both an artist and person, particularly through challenging periods like breakups that sparked some of her most powerful work.
The conversation delves into the fascinating origins of "Martha's Calling," where Martha emerges as a metaphorical figure representing Caroline's "desire for a sign and something to save me." What began as a character in a concept EP evolved into a profound exploration of seeking external validation during times of inner turmoil. Perhaps most touching is the story behind "Prettiest Girl of Heaven," born from a stranger's comment while Caroline was crying on a Manhattan street—a perfect example of how unexpected moments can catalyze creativity.
Looking forward, Caroline shares her excitement about leaning more into indie rock for future projects, including a potential full-length album. She's embracing a balanced approach to music-making while preparing for upcoming performances, including opening for Bria Salmena in Brooklyn and an East Coast DIY tour.
Support independent artists like Caroline by streaming her music, attending shows, and purchasing merchandise. Her authentic songwriting and evolving sound make her an artist worth following as she continues to transform personal struggles into compelling musical stories that resonate with listeners everywhere.
All righty, here we are, another episode like that he played in the closet. Alrighty, here we are, another episode of If it Were A Podcast coming to you. We're flying over to Brooklyn here today, on a sleepy Sunday. I have Caroline Strickland with me out of Brooklyn, singer, songwriter. It's like indie rock folk. It tugs at many heartstrings, uh, emotionally, but also rockingly. Um, yeah, I, I. I read something um carolyn where it said that, um, that an electric guitar was something really important when it came into your life, because you realized that you could rock it out now.
Speaker 2:Yeah totally. I started playing guitar when I was like 13 or 14. And I was just playing on my dad's guitar when I was starting to learn. And then I got my own and it was an electric and I was like, oh yeah, took me a long time to get any good at it, but here we are.
Speaker 1:There you go. Well, practice makes perfect, right? Yeah, and if we were to rewind in time a little bit, carolyn, where did music start to really percolate for you, or where did your awareness start to happen, where music might be more than just, you know, turning on the radio and listen to music, but actually partaking in the development and production of music?
Speaker 2:partaking in the development and production of music, I think in terms of like listening to music actively. I've done that since I was a kid and I am a music lover and always have been. But then I decided I was like, oh, I think I want to make music and write songs. When I was in high school I started a band with two of my friends. The band was called rip rocks R I P R O X and uh, it was the shortened version of the phrase. Rest in peace, roxy, which was our drummer's lizard that died, and so that's like how you name bands when you're 16 um in his basement every day of the week. But, uh, yeah.
Speaker 2:So we started this band and I mean I didn't write much for it at the start. We did covers, we played Sweet Sixteens, we played our prom. We weren't any good but we had fun. But I mean that was the time that I was like I started, I really dove into the stuff with the band and we all stayed together through college. But then I moved to New York and the two other members of the band stayed in Virginia. So then that's when I started my solo stuff, like right when I moved to the city.
Speaker 1:Okay, interesting, yeah, and you mentioned that you didn't start writing songs until a little bit later on. What was that transition like, like? When did you realize that songwriting was something that you liked to do and wanted to do?
Speaker 2:I mean, I think it was. We were in this band and you know, in high school and what we stayed here through college. It was all of our first years of college and we were like we need to write a song and be a real band and have original music. So we commissioned basically our, our. She played violin, cecilia our violin player, and she also played guitar. We just were double guitars.
Speaker 2:Like, you got to write a song for us because she was the smartest of us, so you can write a song because you're smart and it's going to sound good. She wrote us a great song, our first ever original. And then from there I was like wait, I want to do that. I was maybe not jealous, but I was like, and we're best friends, we're still close to this day, but like you know this, I just was like, wait, I want to do that and I think I could. And I was excited by the idea that cecilia and I I knew would be so different in the way that we wrote and I was like, oh, everybody has to bring something to the table for this to be a real band, otherwise this is just cecil's project. And nobody wanted that, even Cecilia.
Speaker 2:So anyway, I wrote my first song for us, which was called Green Eyes. It's out in the world, you can listen to it. You put it out, it's fine, it's fine. Sure, it's the first song that I really wrote, that I was like I'm trying to write a song and I don't know that. I was like I'm trying to write a song and I don't know. I was 19 and so I just thought my first idea of like what a song should be was like people should be able to dance to it. So I was purpose. That was my, my like marker of if the song was good, if, like when we played live, which was a lot, but like two very few people, um, I was like are they? Am I getting them dancing?
Speaker 1:so that's my goal and were you successful with? With?
Speaker 2:sometimes. Sometimes I mean it just depended on the day right right, right.
Speaker 1:You know it's funny you say that too that the first shows, in talking with a lot of musicians, they always say that they feel like they're on to something. When people are showing up to their shows that they might not know, like, yeah, you know they've heard about you somehow or read something or whatever, that that that's the the moment where they start started to feel like a band, you know, when they didn't have to invite everybody to the show. That transition, how do you go about songwriting, like, do you have a routine or a structure that you tend to?
Speaker 2:follow when you're in your creative process? I think I don't. I think it really depends on, like, the era I'm in. When I was young I mean, I'm not much older now like a couple years ago, when I was felt a lot younger, things would just pour out all at the same time, like lyrics and music, and I would just get an idea and run with it. Um, then I started playing more in other people's bands and doing work in theater a bit and I started just playing guitar more. I also teach music and so playing guitar more made me like separate the music and the lyrics a bit. And so now, as I've gotten older, I think I take way more time and I'm not as urgent about it.
Speaker 2:So, in terms of like a process, I don't go in any particular order. Sometimes I have a lyric first, sometimes I have a melody first, you know, and it's more just about piecing them together. And I used to think that that was like not organic and that if I was writing a song that way and it didn't just come out like magic, it wasn't any good. But I think now I realize that that's you know, that's what you think when you're 19, how songs are made, and then you realize, like, oh, I guess that's not. I guess you have to work really hard.
Speaker 1:So that's what I'm coming to learn now, as I'm writing new stuff at the moment cool and do you have, like you were saying, like in your earlier years, like it would just pour out of you? Have you maintained that in the sense that that you never hit walls, or do you hit walls sometimes where you just kind of like I'm, I'm searching for something to come?
Speaker 2:I hit walls for sure. I hit a big wall after I between like my first ever epa I put out, which was only three songs, it was called watch and then, after I put that out and I was trying to write for my second ep, which is the one I just put out, martha's calling I was totally like it was like a year and I just was so a lot of it, I think, was in my head where I just anything that came out I was like that's no good and I would scratch it and I would be really self-deprecating. But yeah, I also think there was a genuine in that year like genuine lack of inspiration and lack of focus as well. I think it goes both ways, like you have to give as much as you're getting to whatever muse you get from, and so I wasn't giving a lot, so I wasn't getting, and then I kind of I don't know what reclicked. I think it was because I like went through a breakup and so that's like classic, that's classic fodder for songs, and so that was a good revamp.
Speaker 1:So thanks for that for that person was was most of um your latest Martha's Calling? Was that a lot of it based on that period of time when you're going through that struggle and breakup?
Speaker 2:A lot like some of it was yeah, uh, the song Chinatown, which is the last track, and the song um, what's right before it. I know all the songs Pretty Scroll of Heaven, that song, both of them are like I wrote after I went through this breakup A year and a half ago now a long time ago. But there's three songs before that on the EP Loving you Right, martha's Calling and Single Action Army. I all, all of them I had written before. But during this relationship that I knew was ending, I wrote Loving you like about how I was like. You know it was months before we broke up, but I was like this. I just have this terrible feeling and it was so sad, you know.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, yeah, it's interesting like how that, how those darker periods or harder periods open these doors to areas which maybe, if we were happy, we wouldn't find, you know or everything was content.
Speaker 1:Do you find that that? It's that that it's harder to take a a rosy perspective on your songwriting, in the sense that you know, writing about unicorns and rainbows and stuff like that just is is much more difficult than when something's tugging at your heartstrings totally yes, I recently was trying to write my next project I'm hoping to do a full length and so I'm trying to write a lot and, just you know, get the best ones out of writing a bunch.
Speaker 2:and I was trying to write a song the other day. That was just like a pure, like love song Not that I'm in love at the moment, but just like what could that look like? And even writing it, I was like there's something like dark about this, like I don't have the ability to be so pure in that, like goodness, I don't think anybody does. And so, yeah, in that, like goodness, I don't think anybody does.
Speaker 2:and so, yeah, I I do find it difficult to be like rainbows and unicorns, even though I like to feel that way in my daily life, sure, but I don't think it comes out.
Speaker 1:The songs now yeah, it's a little harder to inspire, right when you're just like feeling great and it's like, yeah, what am I gonna tap into? I gotta have something to tap into. And, caroline, when, when you were putting this, this record, to together, I've read that martha is a imaginary figure or figure. That helped you inspire a little bit. Can you tell us who martha is?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's so ambiguous, but, martha, so the whole thing started when I just like thought of the phrase Martha's calling, and it was kind of back in long enough ago that it was still like when I would like get ideas and I would think like, like, this is just gonna pour out of me, like, oh, there's my inspiration, I got it. So I have this idea, martha's calling, martha's calling. And it kept like ringing in my head and I really wanted to do like a concept, ep, and I wanted it to be about a character. And so you noted in the questions you sent me over, you noted that I said I was a painter and that I was talking about, like my character that I had made up. So I was never a painter, but I made up this whole character who was a painter of like set design at the ballet and like he was going through block and he didn't know what to paint for the ballet, basically, and so it was.
Speaker 2:I never wrote it out, it was all that was in my head. But, martha, I was trying to decide like is going to be like this character's love interest, or is she like his agent? Is she his boss? Is she someone randomly meets on the street. So that was the origin and I knew Martha just because I liked the name and because I wanted. I was basically trying to discover like I am, this character, I'm this like, like painter, but it's really me, but I wasn't like admitting it and I felt like who am I?
Speaker 2:who? Who or what emotion is like being like, really weighed down right now within me, and so would it be coming from like the lover, like is my relationship? Or like would it be coming from my boss? Like do I hate my job? Like what's? What's making me so depressed?
Speaker 2:Um, and then I just kind of dropped it. I didn't like the idea. I couldn't write anything. I went through this breakup, I was random, everything was just like not, it wasn't working.
Speaker 2:And then I, and then I just really decided I was like okay, martha is just like my desire for a sign and something to save me. I think everybody like wants there to be an answer and wants there to be like a figure to give you the answer. So that was who Martha was to me. I was like Martha's calling, like she's going to be the one to get me through this and she's gonna give me the answer, she's gonna give me the songs. But then, as I finished the EP and the order of the EP matters to me because on that last song, chinatown it's like the culmination of like you've exited, like spiritual delusion, and Martha has melted away and there is no more martha, and like now. You're like sitting on the bench and you're accepting reality. So martha is like a figure, but she's more like an illustration of, of denial, and if for me, what that looks like is like like spiritual delusion and like looking for signs and everything.
Speaker 2:So I was like yeah, if that makes any sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally, totally Like. I get this idea too that it is it easier to write when you have a persona and it's not like directly attached to you or coming out of you, like you have this kind of filter almost where you can say no, no, it's not me, it's caroline, this is martha talking. Or does that make things easier in in in the writing process or sharing um intimate things or, you know, close things to your heart?
Speaker 2:I think it can. I think most of the songs are really from me, but I am like martha is like there holding my hand, like it's less of like a filter and more with this EP. It was like she was like next to me I don't know how to describe it, not exactly that she was the main character, which is also something I wanted to play with, like writing to someone, like not a concept EP, like about a fake character, but rather like a more meta take on it, where it's like I am really carol, I'm really writing these songs, but I'm like making up this person about it.
Speaker 1:um, interesting, but yeah, I don't know that's kind of a double meaning too right, because martha's calling is like what she's destined to do. Yes, but it's also she's calling you like. Hey, like I saw your video and it's the red phone on the steps and so I'm so glad you got that double thing going on which I really appreciate.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, exactly that.
Speaker 1:I also read that the prettiest girl of heaven has a really cool story to it. Yeah, and I know that it seemed. Heaven has a really cool story to it, yeah, and I know that it seemed to be a really tough time for you. Could you, could you, share some of the pieces of that that you feel comfortable sharing?
Speaker 2:Oh, totally I. It was November 2023. And I had gone through this breakup. Really cool. It would have been like september and october. You know, breakups take a couple months to settle in, and so that fall was really bad and I was working at a store called madewell at the time, like in soho, new york. It was just like a retail job. I didn't have a like a good, steady job at the time. I was super broke. I missed my ex-boyfriend, like it was it. I was just life was could not have been worse, and I was left my shift. I was so and I still am. I will cry anywhere. I don't care about crying in public. I was, and at that time I was crying a lot. So I was like bawling, bawling, bawling my eyes out on the street. I was walking in Manhattan and this guy, just just random, whoever guy yelled at me you are one of the prettiest girls in heaven. And maybe he saw me crying and was like I'm going to lift her up, but also like don't yell at women.
Speaker 2:But I loved it to be honest, Like I was like you know, it kind of made me snap back to reality a bit. It was nice to have someone just yell at me. Snap back to reality a bit. It was nice to have someone just yell at me. And as he walked, as I walked away I don't put this in the song, but he was like and you have a great ass, but and I was like, okay for that part, but the prettiest girl of heaven part. I really latched on to that and then wrote this song amazing amazing, great song too.
Speaker 1:Like it feels, inspired you know, like yeah, like something happened and you had to go and like get it out, which was great, I love it. Great story um thank you.
Speaker 1:It's so cool how, how some songs come to be and you'll never forget those experiences there. Yeah, they're like this attachment that you um. So, looking back a little bit, I mean it's only been out since march 7th, right you're? You're the latest ep. How's your, how's your vision of it, caroline? How have you felt the reaction has been towards it and is it? Is it what you expected?
Speaker 2:yeah, I feel really good about it. I mean, I, you know it's still a grind. I'm still a small artist, but I definitely feel like this is the project where, like you were saying before, like when people you don't know react to your stuff, like that's been happening a lot more with this project, um, and I think it's uh, yeah, I'm just proud of it. I think it's obvious. It's the most like top level thing I've ever done and put out, and I think people appreciate that. I think what I? I'm still such like a live show person so I am like think more about like how are people reacting to my live shows? Now, if this ep can get them out to my live stuff, that's great, and I have a lot of good live stuff lined up for the spring. But, yeah, in terms of reaction, I feel like people are liking it.
Speaker 2:I put out a video alongside the ep release for prettiest girl of heaven, um, and I think I'm really proud of that it's. I think people like it. Yeah, I mean, I, overall I'm happy and I just, you're right, it's only been out a couple weeks, so I'm like still, you know, trying to get that. First couple of weeks, first couple of months, excitement rolling yeah.
Speaker 1:Are you enjoying the hustle of being an independent artist?
Speaker 2:It's yeah, I mean it's a hustle. I love that. I love it. You know it's the best. I put out this EP with a label called Good Eye Records out of Beacon, new York, and that's been like a great help. You know it's a small independent label but like being with just having one other person behind the EP with me has been really helpful. So it's made the grind a lot less like intense but at the same time, like you know, with more success comes more grind and with more grind comes more success. Just the endless cycle of like you work hard and then you achieve what you want and then you have to kind of go off that. So I think just seeing the stepping stones of you know, small achievements here in New York scene and then, like as it it, I hope it will progress outside of the city for sure it's intimidating but exciting.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I do like the grind well, made it all the way up here to ice freezing canada um seriously and it's been a real pleasure. You know, one thing that you mentioned before is the, the flow of the songs. I can tell that it was paid. You know you paid a lot of attention to that because it has a really good flow. Usually, like I have to listen to the whole thing because it's like no one feeds into the next, into the next, so I really appreciate that oh good um, and looking to your next, you know you, you say you're still still songwriting.
Speaker 1:Are you looking, do you want to keep along the same vein or are you going to try something different? Or a new producer? Like, what's your thinking now for the next project? Like, how might it be a little bit different than what you just put up?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think a lot of it, I think will be the songs that I have so far that are ready and done and that I've been playing live.
Speaker 2:I think they're leaning more towards the indie rock, away from the Martha's Calling track, which is a bit softer and more gently produced, and then leaning more into the Chinatown style of production, even Loving you Right, which both are just like kind of heavier I mean they're not heavy, but just like more classic guitar driven, like sharper tracks. And so I think leaning into the Rock is something I've wanted to do for a long time, like since finishing Martha's Calling a year ago or over a year ago a long time like since finishing Martha's Calling a year ago or over a year ago. And then, in terms of the songwriting, I think it, I'm excited to see what comes out of me. At first, like when I put this out, I was like I have to write nine songs right now, but I'm trying to be a bit more patient with myself. So I don't know in terms of the content and the style of songwriting. We'll see what comes out of me in the next couple months.
Speaker 1:Interesting Are you feeling inspired and creative these days?
Speaker 2:Yeah, in a way that I haven't experienced, it's not like sparks flying in my brain all the time.
Speaker 2:But, like I was saying before, I've been doing a lot more music work outside of my own project and I think that's really helpful because it just keeps your body and brain in the practice. Like I play guitar in a couple bands and just that alone I don't know why it just allows me to like more calmly face my own project, because it's not the only thing I like have the guitar outlet for anymore. So, in terms of inspiration, my feeling inspired like some days yeah, I wrote a song the other day and like a lot of times I'll write a song and I, you know I think that I won't stick with it, but then I ended up playing it live at a show and I was like, okay, so maybe I do like it, so it's just a lot less intense. I always feel like that word, like inspired is, can be so intense and I'm like I don't know if I'm inspired, but I'm definitely writing.
Speaker 1:Cool, yeah, well, you're, you're, you're, you're growing your muscle, your creative, creativity, muscle, right Like it. It definitely needs, um, you know, coaxing sometimes and it just doesn't happen just to boom out of the blue. It's the experiences you gain and where you put yourself, and I'm excited for you, I'm excited to hear, um, what's coming down the road for you.
Speaker 2:So just to close off, Carolyn, so you said you're going to be doing some shows as well over the spring, summertime I'm um, playing at babies all right here in new york with an artist called bria salmena who just put out her solo debut on sub pop. Um, yeah, she's awesome. I've been a fan of her for like four years. Um, I saw her open for, uh, wolf alice at bowery ballroom here in new y York like four years ago, and I've stuck a fan and so it's a great moment to have an artist you love, and so I'll open for a venue called Babies Alright here in Brooklyn at the end of April. And then I'm doing the DIY tour with a band who's a good friend called Babe Lewis out of Virginia, and we're just going to run up and down the East Coast in the U S and play some basements and, yeah, that's at the beginning of May, so stay tuned for that If you're in the States.
Speaker 1:Cool, cool. Well, listeners out there, please go and check out Carolyn. She's an amazing songwriter. It's got some great moxie to to these songs. They're not. They do tug at the heart, heart. But they also give some driving like maybe you'll dance, who knows? And get a record, go see a show, buy a t-shirt um support these independent artists.
Speaker 1:They need all the help they can get to keep creating these amazing um, eps, lps, songs, etc. Nice, all the best, caroline. This has been really fun. Thanks for joining me today on this amazing EPs, lps, songs, et cetera. Nice, all the best, caroline. This has been really fun. Thanks for joining me today on this sleepy Sunday. This has been really fun talking with you and I wish you all the best in in in the next year. What happens if you ever want to hop back on and talk about something else? Let's be in touch.
Speaker 2:Totally. Thanks so much, really enjoyed it. Great. Oh, baby Martha's. She's asking where have you gone? Where have you gone? She's begging me to explain why you left. I say now, martha, you're upset, you're upset, you're upset, you're upset Martha's calling. Martha's calling, Martha's calling. Oh, the wind meets the hurricane. I push the tears from your eyes and know that. Are you waiting on an answer to save you?
Speaker 1:For the light upon the water to tell you who's the far and frightening voice that compels you.
Speaker 2:Oh, Martha is a vision and you're a California liar who can't make a decision. No, Martha's waiting patiently. There's a hand for you to hold. It's a call on the line Ringing softly. It's a call on the line ringing softly.
Speaker 1:Martha's call.
Speaker 2:Martha's calling, martha's calling, martha's calling, martha's calling is calling.
