ifitbeyourwill Podcast
“ifitbeyourwill" Podcasts is on a mission to talk to amazing indie artists from around the world! Join us for cozy, conversational episodes where you'll hear from talented and charismatic singer-songwriters, bands from all walks of life talk about their musical process & journey. Let's celebrate being music lovers!
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ifitbeyourwill Podcast
ifitbeyourwill S05E12 • Stella Birdie
A conversation with Stella Birdie feels like stumbling upon a secret diary—intimate, raw, and unexpectedly illuminating. Speaking from her candlelit porch in Australia as dawn breaks, Stella reveals how songwriting became her way to process emotions too complex for everyday conversation.
"I want to ruminate on things much longer than most people want to," she confesses, perfectly capturing why her music resonates so deeply. From childhood notebooks filled with song-like poems to her recent EP "Speaking Terms," Stella's creative journey follows a consistent thread: seeking intimate expression for experiences that defy easy articulation.
Her songwriting process begins with lyrics, usually captured in her phone's Notes app while walking home, processing the day. Unlike many artists who begin with melody or chords, Stella prioritizes the words and the emotional truth they carry. This lyrics-first approach explains the rare authenticity that permeates tracks like "Organ Donor" and "He Didn't Mean It"—songs that begin as personal catharsis before becoming universal connection points.
What's particularly fascinating is Stella's revelation about the therapeutic nature of her craft. "Closure is not real," she says with hard-earned wisdom, "and writing is a really good band-aid for coping with that fact." This perspective offers listeners a new way to understand why we're drawn to emotionally complex music—it gives voice to feelings we struggle to resolve in our own lives.
As sunlight gradually illuminates our conversation, Stella reflects on the beautiful paradox of performing painful songs with joy, watching audience members connect with her most vulnerable moments. There's something magical in this transformation—from darkness into light, from private pain into shared experience. For anyone who's ever found solace in a song that seemed written just for them, Stella Birdie's music provides both mirror and window into our shared emotional landscape.
Discover Stella's music across all platforms and catch her upcoming shows across Europe and the UK this May. Your new favorite lyricist is just getting started.
But by the time I'm 29, my body will turn back to mine. What damage can it do till then, if I see you in?
Stella Birdie:everything. If you're so scared to be alone, then just become an organ donor. You're so scared to be alone, why won't you be my organ donor?
Chris:Very nice. Here we are, it's so cool. This is the first time that I've ever done an interview with my guest in Candlelight, so yay.
Stella Birdie:First time for everything you know, check off every box.
Chris:That's right. That's right, um. So welcome everyone to another episode of beautiful podcast season five. Um, we are traveling really far around the world here today, um, and I'm I I didn't realize this, but we are. We have a stella birdie coming in from Australia sitting on her porch with candles because her roommates are still sleeping. So we'll talk pretty quietly because we don't want to wake her roommates up and the whole flat is against her all day saying I'm grumpy because of you.
Chris:We don't want that we're not going to do that, stella, thank you. Thank you for accepting this invite and also kudos to you for getting up so darn early and, um, you know, these time changes.
Stella Birdie:They're dramatic, thank you thank you for having me. And also I mean honestly I got back from the us like a week and a half ago, so I probably needed a reason to wake up early and actually get myself back on track. I've been sleeping in quite late, so this is good Accountability.
Chris:All things work out in the end, we'll say so. Stella, tell me a little bit about where things began for you. Do you have some like memories of your you know, as you were growing up, of where music really started to, to show itself to you and reveal it that that this was something that was going to be a part of your life?
Stella Birdie:absolutely, yeah, I think, um, my uh sister would like play me a lot of stuff.
Stella Birdie:I remember really key points of um, like I don't know, downloading her downloading a bunch of music for me and um, uh, like getting really into it that way, and then also just writing a lot like I think that I was writing songs before I knew what, like what, I was doing, that that was what I was doing. Um, and like, there are little like scrapbook notebooks of me from like a very young age and some of them are like clearly a copy paste of you know whatever song I was getting access to via the radio, but they were. You can see, like, um, it's like you know cave drawings. You're like, oh, I can see what you're trying to do, you'll get to something at some point. Um, but yeah, so I think there was like just a very natural instinct towards that um, very early on, again, before I realized what I was doing. And then later on, um, you know like kind of I started to like structure it and go like, oh, how do I do like more of this? How do I make this my life?
Stella Birdie:right and now that's. You know what I'm trying to do amazing.
Stella Birdie:Well, I think you're doing it. We'll say you're doing it because yeah, I mean from what I can see um, yeah, I mean it's definitely happening which is exciting um you said that you would always have these, like you know, old vestiges from the past, that that kind of were, maybe songy, poetry.
Chris:Um, when did you actually start penning songs that that you thought would have a life to them and that you would want to share those with you know, friends, family oh, I think I was probably like I was 12 when I got two of my friends to sing something with me that I had written, but we were like calling it kind of a band and got like did it for like a full school performance, and I remember that it was a very like angsty, you know, song about like friendships and miscommunications, and so clearly some things haven't changed.
Stella Birdie:But but yeah, I remember that and I also I remember that thing of you know that I think everyone experiences when they're a kid, hopefully, of like you just never think like, oh, what if someone doesn't like this? Or what if someone thinks you're like I want to do this, I want to share this like, and you know, I think the the work of I don't know any artist is to try to get back to that feeling of when you were a kid and you just you shared things or did things because you were like I think what I've made is really cool and I really want to see what people think of it.
Stella Birdie:um, so, yeah, I feel like I was at that point, you know, like early, very, very early teens, and then the work is just to try to get back to that point right, interesting, and did you find too, like at a young age, that you had, you felt, you had that creative muscle going, like you practiced it and, and you know, like pushed it further, further and further and further as you grew up?
Stella Birdie:Yeah, absolutely. I think, um, I was doing a lot of different kinds of writing. I wrote a lot of different like scripts and like plays and like I don't know was one of those kids who was always getting all the other kids in the neighborhood to like make the movie that I had in my head. I was spending a lot of time on iMovie. I do remember that, just a classic vestige of the, you know, the overthinking child. Um, uh, yeah, so I think that I was just like making things in a lot, of, a lot of different ways, like a lot of different mediums, um, but always, always, writing a lot um, and always writing in verse in a way that would become soul structure.
Chris:Right. And were your themes that you were dabbling in at that younger age like? Were those surprising themes to you? Or was it kind of a therapy, in a way too, of like just getting stuff out, putting it down on paper so you wouldn't just be tormenting you?
Stella Birdie:totally, yeah, I think, um, like I was like in in many ways like a pretty melancholy kid or a very like thinking very heavily very early on, and so I like, when I look back on like little scraps that I still have of things that I was writing, i'm'm like, oh she's, she's going through it. But then there were also things like I don't know I wrote like when I was pretty little still I wrote like a reinterpretation of Cinderella, but that was like like how a feminist slant and you know Cinderella like does some women's lib and you know tries to have a career as well, which is like pretty funny, funny move for like a seven-year-old to write. So I think that that kind of stuff was showing up there pretty early as well. Um, yeah, and when.
Chris:When did you introduce yourself to guitar songwriter lyrics like when was that first? Was that still in your teens, where you started actually playing a guitar?
Stella Birdie:yeah, my um, uh, my mom got me like a second hand, relatively like, you know, um kind of beaten up but really nice, uh, acoustic. And then my sister got me an electric, which I still have somewhere. It's really nice. It's like this 1970s Japanese model, like really tiny guitar that I need to get fixed because it's like unplayable right now. Um, but yeah, so those were my two, like I think it was like. My mom got me an acoustic to be like, you know, like, learn it, play like, write songs, blah, blah, blah.
Stella Birdie:And then my sister got me an electric to be like and remember like you can make rock music, like you don't have to make because you know, obviously there's some really brilliant um acoustic guitar music, um like I love it, but sometimes you can get a bit shoehorned um as like sing a songwriter one specific sound, and I think my sister was like just remember, you can do like whatever you want, like you can write, you know, indie rock if you want to write indie rock.
Stella Birdie:And and here we are amazing, and so tell me a little bit about your process. How do you go about writing songs? How do they? How do you get an idea and then either say, yeah, idea, no good, let's show that. Maybe I'll pull it out in a couple of years to something like where a song really starts to spark inside you Like, how do you? What's your process? Like you come up with your, your, your chord progressions first, and then a melody comes to you, or do you have because I did read that you're a big fan of of iPhone recorder right For tracking your, big fan of of iphone recorder right for, yeah, tracking your.
Chris:can you tell us a little bit about how you go about um, beginning these songs and then to get them, bring them further along or scrap them, depending absolutely, yeah, I think so I start with lyrics, always like I've always been a lyrics first um writer and a lot of the times that's like the notes app of my phone. Like I'm not like sometimes I handwrite, but a lot of the time I'm normally coming back from like I don't know if I've been out and I'm like I like to like do a big walk home and that's where I do. A lot of writing is like thinking and processing then. But you know, like the notes app means that you can just access like a little tiny insulated corner of the world in any environment you're in um, so I do that, and then normally I'll have a vocal melody in my head while I'm writing lyrics, because it's giving structure to like it's creating the rules that I'm then going to like apply to the song of literally like rhythm, assonance, all of that kind of stuff, and within the like boundaries of that structure, I can.
Chris:You know, like you kind of need sometimes to to create a rule so that you can write, like if, if you didn't have any like structure for what you were going to write against, um, it's harder to write because, like you didn't have any like structure for what you were going to write against. Um, it's harder to write because, like you're, like I could do anything and then that kind of you know, so you write nothing, um, uh. So I'll have a vocal melody in my head, usually while I'm writing lyrics, and then normally, once the song is written, then I will start playing it on an instrument like. I sometimes start slightly earlier, but I normally try not to, because I find that as soon as I start playing it and singing at the same time, I lock in the lyrics and if I haven't, like, thought enough about them, I might get really used to singing a line that later I'm like, but that doesn't work there. So it's like trying not to get too used to your own idea.
Stella Birdie:Absolutely. I love this quote that you said and it made me think I want to read it because it's so good. There's so many conversations we never get to have or times when we can't make people understand us, but with songwriting you can play those narratives out in your own terms and then, hopefully, put them away. Can you reflect on that a little bit? I just find like I've never truly thought about it that way, but totally like, yes, how did you come to that about songwriting, that it could be this tool of healing? You know, healing or or getting out what I didn't. I can't speak to the person with. You know, whoever I'm thinking about writing the song for.
Stella Birdie:Absolutely. I think that, probably like any person doing a craft or in a creative field, you're trying to bridge what you see as the gap between how you need to experience the world and what the world is willing to let you do. You need to experience the world and what the world is willing to like let you do. And I think that I, very quickly in life, figured out that, like I want to ruminate on things much longer than you can ruminate on things like I want to like have a conversation over and over again for a longer time than most people like want to do that, and and also things like just like I don't know, um like have like more mean and not more meaning, but, um, I don't know, I experience things like good things very intensely and bad things very intensely, and so when I was like okay, well, I can't, I don't want to punish myself for having that sensitivity, but I also know that there are ways in which it's not compatible with, like, some of the more practical elements of life.
Stella Birdie:Um, if I want to ruminate on this interaction with this person, but I know that it's actually not a good thing to keep having that conversation, how can I still let myself express that Like not muzzle yourself, um, and writing is like the way to do that, because it's like it's almost like you know, like talking to a kid and going like, okay, I can't control, you know what's going to happen for you out there, but right here you can say whatever you need to me, and like that's what the writing process I think can be, if you're as long as you're not judging yourself, um, yeah.
Stella Birdie:And so I think that just by like by nature of the fact that I would be thinking about that anyway, it's like so you may as well try to write something and then get something out of it, and then you know, like at a certain point, you actually do get to put the thing down because you're like, oh, I've made this, and so maybe the end goal of that relationship wasn't I'm gonna get closure. The end goal of it was I'm gonna like have this experience, write about it, feel really proud about the thing that I've written and you know, I don't know, I think I've like writing has actually helped me realize that closure is like not real, like um, and writing is a really good like band-aid for like coping with the fact that closure is not real and I mean these, I mean the lyrics that you write about and the themes that you write about are not easy themes to to put out there in the world.
Stella Birdie:Um, and I do feel that it is you working through things and and having that conversation that you couldn't have, but you're having it anyway through your music and the melodies and the, the, the words that you're putting out there. Are you? Do you find that you need to like, have kind of like these difficult themes, like that they inspire you more than you know, a narrative of some kind where it's not, maybe it's more removed from you? Like, does writing have to be intimate for you? Like, do you have to write songs that have have tugged at your heartstrings or made you super, like you know, melancholy, as you said?
Stella Birdie:intimate. It's a great word for it, because it's like I think that that's that's actually the experience that I'm usually pursuing, and sometimes that means it's um, it's melancholy or um, that it's got some anger or um, some resentment, or you know bitterness, or you know any host of things. Sometimes it means that it or you know bitterness or you know any host of things. Sometimes it means that it's like, you know, a really delicate kind of like love of any kind, or you know, like, so, like I'm definitely I'm pursuing intimacy and I'm pursuing something that, like, I can't say any other way. I think that's what I'm trying to do when I'm writing. I do notice that I'm not like I don't say any other way. I think that's what I'm trying to do when I'm writing.
Stella Birdie:I do notice that I'm not like I don't tend to write when I'm feeling very content, like I don't tend to analyze it very much, which I think is just like a human thing. So I just have less songs that are written in those moments where I'm like you know, like having you know they're like when there are like parts of my life that I'm feeling very fulfilled about, I'm just like less likely to like turn the microscope on them. But I am, I am my kind of. One of my hopes, like longer term, is that I'll get to a point where I can write about those things in a way that I find interesting. I just like, sometimes I try to write, you know, I don't know, like not happier songs strictly, but like songs about those more like reflective, like loving moments, and then I just get like bored with myself, probably because what I have to say I say like I express those feelings pretty directly to people quite easily. So it's like, well, I've already said it, why do I need to write?
Chris:it. That's cool, that's a great. It's a great point, you know, like it's, I think too, like you're able to put words to things that are hard to put words to, which is a great talent. Thinking about now you're speaking terms EP that you put out November 2024. What was that process like for you? How did you, how did how did that EP come together, um and and to, to get to the point where it was eventually released?
Stella Birdie:Yeah, so I hope you're getting these birds in the background.
Chris:It's slowly becoming lighter and lighter.
Stella Birdie:It's great you can see more happening. Uh, yeah, so I mean I actually. So the first song for the ep that I wrote was he didn't mean it like that was written the earliest, that was written, in like mid 2021 and um, and I wrote it and I was working on it with one of the co-producers and then kind of sort of put it down for a bit or had a really extended process of like we would come back to it for a bit and be like, oh, this isn't quite right or like we're trying to get it to this point. But you know, it was hard. And I was also like, oh god, I really said all that, didn't I? And now, if we put it out, I'll have said all that forever, like that's, that's out there, um.
Stella Birdie:And then I started working with gab gab strum, who ended up producing like being the main producer for the full ep, and we worked on all these other songs together and then he didn't mean it was the last song that we finished together. So it's really like the top and tail of of that whole process, um, and I think that while we were making the other songs that we were making, um, organ donor headlights six foot drop actually headlights was also with um, my friend and co-producer, soren. Um, while we were working on those songs, it was like it was like exposure therapy to, like you know, saying vulnerable things, and so by the time we got to he Didn't Mean it Again. I was like, yes, like I have to put this out. Yeah, so I think that, I don't know, it was just kind of a natural extension of the way that I've been writing for a while, but just with people like working with new people who, you know, just brought out new elements of the music and who understood it in this different way and, um, you know, brought, brought their own perspective.
Stella Birdie:But also, I don't know, I think one of the really key things is that, like I never had to justify, you know, why that lyric is like that or why this structure is like that. He didn't mean it's quite like a long song. We did like edit it or cut it down like ever so slightly, but, like you know, it's still structurally, like it takes quite a while to get to that first chorus, but there was like no point at which anyone was like, oh, maybe, like you know, this isn't the first song to put out or this isn't a single blah, blah, blah, like everyone was just like. No, no, I get it. Um, so I think that was a really key part of the creative process was like you don't feel as vulnerable when you're not made to like justify these choices that you made about. You know heavy subject matter, or um, a song that's really close to you absolutely.
Chris:That's a good point. And and was the production something that you were involved in from start to finish? Um, I mean, as you mentioned, you had a producer and stuff, but did you partake in, um the crafting of, or were you just focused on the songs and the delivery and and letting others kind of craft it?
Stella Birdie:yeah, I mean. So I was in the like room for like any time the songs were being worked on, basically, um, but probably like one or two times that like some editing or particularly like vocal, vocal editing was happening, that someone was just doing it, um, but yeah, I mean, I think, like I want to let a producer like produce and, um, it's like something. Production is something that I would love to like develop that like skill and that muscle like in the next few years, um, but that, like you know, I like have more limited experience with, basically like just for my own, like literal manual skills, um, but then also, you know, like anyone who is like work, like you, you know how you want it to feel and how you want it to sound and where to direct it or where to be like. Oh, I want that to happen there. So usually the way that it works is that I will have finished a song pretty much fully.
Stella Birdie:Um, you know, bring it, bring it to a producer, or bring a host of songs to a producer actually and be like which of these calls to you which do you want to work on? Or bring a host of songs to a producer actually and be like, which of these calls to you, which do you want to work on? And then we kind of like go from there. Um, but yeah, I mean I'm. I always want to be involved in the production process because, like you know, I want every production choice to feel like it has a narrative explanation, like we're not just putting in like sounds for fun.
Stella Birdie:We wanted to feel like we're doing everything is meant to be there right, well, yeah, like in headlights, that's such a like song that's stacked with so many sounds that come in for two bars and then never again in the song and like anytime, we were like introducing something. We were really trying to like build a world, really, um, like within that song. So every single one of those is, like you know, a brick that you want to be placing on purpose interesting, yeah, interesting, and now so I mean, this record's been out for a handful of months.
Chris:When you look back on it, what? What were your greatest surprises that you encountered after the release?
Stella Birdie:I think I mean like generally. My surprise was just it had been a while since I'd put anything out and it was like the EP is quite, I would say, different to like not radically, but quite different to things that I've put out before. So I think I was just like, really like I don't know. I felt really grateful how many people were listening and like different people were reaching out and like you know, just like things like the radio play that we got was really cool and I was not expecting um again, particularly for like some of those like longer songs, um or like with heavier content, I think part of me was like I know that I want to put this out, but also like there might be a limit to how accessible it is or how viable it is for radio because of I don't know the things that I'm saying, even just how much I'm swearing in some of these songs.
Stella Birdie:Um, I didn't think about it until we were like at the end of the ep and then I was like, wow, I, I did that a lot.
Stella Birdie:Um, I think your fuck placements are like like so good I I enjoy it.
Stella Birdie:Seeing starting he didn't mean it with. I saw that motherfucker is the most fun thing live of all time because if someone in the crowd has been maybe like not fully engaged, you see them like be like what.
Stella Birdie:They just lock in well, it's like gut level. Um, it's a gut level like uh, lyric, you know like, or, or sentence like yeah surely like pulls your attention because wait a minute. I felt like that before. Yeah, I gotta hear about this story.
Stella Birdie:Um, everyone knows, I like shitbag as well. I think that's very I think that's a unique one.
Stella Birdie:That's not in every song so as, as you progress here, I mean what, what does 2025 look like for you, stella? Where? Where where's the music headed in?
Stella Birdie:uh, in this year, yeah, lots, lots going on, um, uh, in may, um doing these Europe and UK shows, and then have a few things not yet announced towards the end of the year that are happening as well, which is really cool, and we, like you know, have been working on new music and so some of that is going to start to come out in the next few months, which is really exciting.
Stella Birdie:So, just you know, hopefully like playing shows, making more music, putting it out, I'm really excited about the next like we've been playing a lot of the unreleased songs, like on that us tour in south by, and it's such a like great um thing to get to do because you literally get to see people's like live response. Like when you're putting things out, um, on a normal release day, you don't talk, you're not seeing any of the people who are like responding to the music. So playing live is so important for like like almost mindfulness to be like, oh, I'm doing this, to like talk to people at the end of the day. So that's been really good and just like keen to do more of that, keen to like meet more people. I met really lovely people who would come to the show, some people who have come from like pretty far distances to come to the us shows.
Stella Birdie:So I just want to do more of that. Um, uh, yeah, in may to you.
Chris:Are you heading out? You're heading out on the road again in may yeah, yeah.
Stella Birdie:so I've got a UK slash Europe tour in May, so playing some festivals, playing the Great Escape, focus Wales, london, calling in Amsterdam, and then a couple of Headland shows in London, manchester, nottingham.
Chris:I want to say yeah, yeah, good for you, good for you. Well, I'm super pleased with you accepting this invite. It's been really fun talking with you. A great story so far and many more chapters to come. Listeners, you've got to go and catch a show, get the record, buy a t-shirt, support our indie artists as much as you can. Um, so this has been fascinating, um, it's been. You said some things that I will reflect upon for probably a while now, um, as I go through, but I really want to thank you for for waking up so early and sharing some of your insights and thoughts about where you've been and where you're going.
Stella Birdie:Absolutely. This is good. This is like journaling, first thing. It's like morning pages and we're out here at the sunrises being like, oh, what do I think about?
Stella Birdie:um, there was a thing that you said about, um, coming out of the darkness into, you know, away from the heartache by putting out, you know, writing these songs down. I feel like this podcast has been like that, where we've gone from darkness into the light and, uh, we're starting things more clearly about stella birdie, yeah, it's all, it's all linked.
Stella Birdie:Yeah, I really feel that way. I think, um, like playing the songs live and feeling like the joy and then remembering where they came from, like remembering with organ donor, like the space that I like like I was in in what I was writing about, and now I'm like, first of all, that feels so distant, but like that's, the thing that you do right is like you write about the feeling and then, by the time you've written it, like the last line of that song does come true. It's like like by by thinking it over or playing it over, eventually, like it kind of fades into less and less. So just that's cool. Shout out to music for that one well, shout out to that song too.
Chris:So people hang on. We're going to listen to Organ Donor at the end of this. Stella, all the best, keep rocking. I hope one day our paths cross again and we'll be talking about a new record down the road sometime.
Stella Birdie:Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me.
Stella Birdie:Oh, it's been a real pleasure, thank you.
Stella Birdie:All right, the time I'm 29, my body will turn back to mine. What damage can it do till then, if I see you in everything? If you're so scared to be alone, then just become an organ donor. You're so scared to be alone, why won't you be my organ donor? You're picturing me bleeding out. Even this makes you hate me. Now, and everybody else can see, you're losing your patience with me, and nothing is more sickening than talking me through everything and clashing at my playing hand and never touching me again.
Stella Birdie:I stood for hours on the street To make your touch seem warm to me, so nobody can say that I Did anything but fucking try. And if you're so scared to be alone, then just be calm and open. I love you. I keep the moment on repeat Till it becomes nothing to me.
